other blog

I suck at blogging. Here we go:

http://pyramadsong.tumblr.com 

celebrity crushes

Siiiigh...

^ Ryan Gosling, Zach Condon, John Krasinski. Yes, that last image is John Krasinski on stage with Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie. I think I love John Krasisnki so much because he looks identical to how my dad looked at his age. And you know, he's hysterical, intelligent, beautiful, etc. etc. etc. ...

wednesday wants

Happy Hump Day from Nantes!

Things are looking up. Although my life is a scattered, messy, roller-coaster-esque ride, I'm trying to enjoy it for what it is. Time to take advantage of this simple living here in France, for upon my return to the states, it will be work work work. Although I hate (and I mean really hate) being uncertain about my future, I am trusting in God and having faith that no matter what I do on a daily basis, it is what is meant to be. I know it sounds cliché, but we really never know how things will work out; we can only hope that they work out for the better, and enjoy our lives for what they are in the meantime. God's plan is already set out, we are just here to carry it out. All I can do is offer myself up as an instrument through which He works, you know? It will all be good. I am NOT about to give up. 

In other news, I realized that all I really want in my house when I'm older is a good bed. My bed at my host family's apartment is no good. Being 6 feet tall, a tiny (smaller than a twin) bed does not work out so well. And bed is so very important and cherished for me. I sleep about 9 or 10 hours a night, and if I could spend all day in bed, I would. It is a slice of heaven, in my opinion. So, this Wednesday's Want is...a big, cozy, lived-in bed. If you've seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (great flick), there is a line that says "...we lived on that mattress." I want that. I adore bed.

"...we lived on that mattress." 

Until next time,

I'll be resting in bed,

MG

gimme gimme!

I CANNOT wait to have my own place. 

Living with a host family here in France and constantly feeling like every move of mine is being watched or judged, the idea of living alone sounds scrumptious.

I want my bedroom to look like this...

Gimme gimme!

And I want exposed brick:

Siiiigh....

*CHANSON DU JOUR:

Bluish by Animal Collective. If you look up the lyrics, they explain just about all I want in life.

Let's just stay in, no one's here in our apartment babe.

I'm seeing their concert in Nantes on March 20 and am far too excited. Again, gimme gimme!

tuesday temper

I am currently in the middle of:

-Changing all my classes around because of the French strikes.

-Finding out more about my financial/loan troubles.

-Looking for work in Nantes (English lessons)

-Missing my family big time.

-Deciding what to eat for lunch.

Tuesday temper? ... contemplative & defeated.

march madness

Bonjour & Happy March!

With the strikes and the Blocus still continuing, I think I'll be changing some classes around. I haven't had classes in almost a month. A lot a lot a lot of financial troubles and school (back home) troubles are going on. My host father is back from work in Africa for a short while and my host house is crazy. I work, yet am still broke as a joke. I don't think I can even go anywhere for spring break. Needless to say, this March is going to bring about a lot of change, I think. It will be March Madness, and I don't know how well I'll be able to handle it all. But...

"Don't give up. Keep going. There is always a chance that you stumble onto something terrific. I have never heard of anyone stumbling over anything while he was sitting down." 

-- Ann Landers

Just gotta keep on truckin'. March Madness, here I come...

MG

thursday thoughts

This week included one of my favorite holidays: MARDI GRAS!

After a beautiful weekend of indulging in Paris (I think I spent all my money, but I deserved it), returning to Nantes for one final day of indulging was just what the doctor ordered. The French do it up right, too...the whole Fat Tuesday thang before the start of Lent.  Toast with Nutella and a double espresso for breakfast, a falafel sandwich with fries & a Coca Light for lunch, an entiiiire bag of Petits Oursons candies (my favorite in France...chocolate covered marshmallow bears. I'm actually salivating just thinking about them), and then we had soup, pizza, salad, some more fries for dinner, as long as my personal favorite for dessert -- ice cream. Needless to say, I actually ate so much to the point of feeling sick and literally wanted to fast for Ash Wednesday.

Last weekend in Paris was like a dream though. With Joleen living there, she knew her way around and I barely ever felt like a tourist, which is always nice. Now I'm back to normal life though. And when I say normal, I mean that I don't ever have class because of the "Blocus" strikes going on at my université, meaning the students have literally blocked off all entrances to classrooms and buildings so we are unable to have class. Professors are striking as well because apparently the French government is trying to change the university system -- give the president of the university more power, lengthen class duration, basically Americanize a little bit. And, of course, once the French hear the word "change," they flip. After over five months here, I'm finally starting to realize that striking is like a national sport in which everyone takes part. 

Three of the 400+ pictures from Paris:

Anyway, it was lovely. Things are low-key here in Nantes. I can honestly say that I don't do anything, ever. It's pathetic. All of my friends back home have midterms, papers & other craziness to take care of, while I am just sitting around being a fatty American in France. Hmmm. Even after an incredible weekend in Paris, I am still missing home big time. What do I miss most today? Besides family & friends, it's most definitely trail mix. You know, with cashews, almonds, raisins, other dried fruit, with M&Ms. Simply genius! I miss peanut butter and Mexican food everyday, so that's a given. I miss exercise centers and tall coffees on the go and sitting around without feeling judged by my host family. I miss being able to find work easily without having to worry about a student visa. Oh well, I will have all of that for the rest of my life -- guess I'd better take advantage of all France has to offer while I can, huh?

Well until next time,

Happy Lent!

MG

Weekend in Paris

I am in love with Paris, France.


I'm here in this beautiful city visiting a friend from high school, Joleen. It's her golden birthday today on Feb.20th. I know it's her birthday, but I am the one having the time of my life! Seeing her here, so indescribably happy with her life, has lifted me out of this funk I've been in since being back in France; refreshed me. I am deeply grateful to be here, and she is showing me a gooooooood time. Tomorrow's agenda will be incredibly touristy...and I cannot wait. Picnic in the park and climbing the Eiffel Tower, checking out the thrift store scene in the deuxieme arrondissement, back to her apartment for dinner, and then dancing the night away. Sounds fun, no?

Repeat: I am in love with Paris, France.

Until next time,
Feel Ridiculously Fine,
MG

Jour de Saint Valentin

The French, ironically enough, don't celebrate Valentine's Day like we Americans do. It's not neeearly as commercial here. No advertisements, no Valentine's Day candy section at the grocery store, barely any Valentine's Day cards. Maybe it's because they're always soo into their significant others, they don't feel the need to have this Hallmark "Holiday." But today, I am seein' the love. My host dad, Jean Jacques, is living and working in Sudan with the United Nations, while my host mom, Laurence, is here in Nantes with the fam. She woke up this morning to a huge package and a bouquet of flowers from her husband of 28 years. J'adore. She was so elated! Now, though I may not be a huge fan of Valentine's Day (I was a florist during high school and we literally dreaded this day), I guess I can be happy for all those who are cute & couple-y. I have no Valentine this year, as it is always my Dad, and he's 4,000+ miles away from me this year. But I am still a fan of love. 

Really though, aren't we all?

^ Mimi & Bob, circa the early 1980s. Matching LaCoste windbreakers?

Must be love.

How will I be celebrating my Valentine's Day? Well, I have my host family's apartment to myself for the weekend while they are at their house by the ocean, so after going to get a hair cut and enjoying today's sunshine, I'll make myself dinner in my jammies, watch a movie, drink wine & eat delicious French chocolate. Sounds heavenly. 

Amusez-vous bien, ce jour de Saint Valentin!

Sending lots & lots of love across the Atlantic,

MG.

thursday thoughts

My Mood as of recent?

weary wednesday

Hiiiii.

Another unproductive day here in Nantes. I taught English to les petits this morning...Marlène and Gabriel, whom I adore. Showered, came to the IES center, only to eat lunch and sit around...read...listen to music..."work," and eat ungodly amounts of candy. I find myself increasingly more aggrivated and annoyed with my daily life, I need some people and excitement in my life. As cliché as it sounds, my life here in France is really like a rollercoaster. Today is an "I hate this place" day.

If how I felt today had a song, it would be this one:

Desiderata

I need to do a better job of living this out:


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

that face!

Oh boy, do I miss that face!

You three are in my thoughts today. 

I think about my friends & family on the regular, but I am missing you guys particularly hard today. 

Keep ya heads up & I'll try to do the same.

Until next time,

Feel Ridiculously Fine,

MG

sunday sentiments.

Sundays in Nantes, France are a joke.

Nothing is open. Not even the grocery store or bakeries *gasp!*. Instead, everyone spends the day in the parks or in their homes with their families. It's a beautiful thing, I think...to essentially shut down society, if you will, to spend some quality time with your loved ones. However, my host family is out of town in Paris, and not having many people to hang out with, I spent the day walking around the city. I love how the gray (or is it grey with an 'e'?) sky contrasts against the dark gray clouds, making anything that is green simply seem like it's exploding with color, how the streets are almost empty, and how one is able to enjoy the time simply...wandering. I had no due dates (with the French strikes going on, I don't even have class), nowhere to be, and took advantage of the alone time walking through the crisp air.

This weekend was zesty: spicy couscous restaurant for dinner on Friday, and homemade Mexican food for dinner last night...mmm. Tonight I video Skyped with my best friend from last semester, "the other Madeline," for two hours. Talk about zest! That girl's zest for life will never cease to amaze me. I've got so many freakin' inspiring people in my life. How could I ever feel lonely or heavy-hearted?

les couples français

I HATE seeing all the beautiful couples in France. And they are literally everryyywhere:

success!

I'm glad I went searching around Nantes for a solid three hours today because...

I found my Beloved iPod!

...Turns out I should have more faith in humanity. 

Someone turned it in to the information desk at the library I was at on Saturday. 

Amen to that! Never lettin' this little sweetie escape again:

on the hunt

Bonjour,

Today, I will be on the hunt, retracing my steps to find my beloved iPod.
Chances are, I won't find it. I mean, slim to none. But this morning at breakfast, my host mom and I discussed material goods, and how if I lived without it before, I can live without it afterwars. We also discussed how even if someone found it, we imagine they wouldn't have turned it in...People tend to be dishonest nowadays, sadly.

Just when I was about to lose hope in humanity, I remembered these photographs my best friend Molly took during a family trip to the Grand Canyon over winter break. She found, amidst all the cold snow, blooming flowers. Perhaps if she found beauty despite the winter, maybe I'll find hope in mankind again. For the time being, I'll just stop thinking about it and continue going about my vie quoitidienne, daily life.

Here's one of her photographs. Dearest Molly has more talent than she'll ever know...

Until next time,
Have a joyous Monday,
MG

february?

Joyeux Février, tout le monde.

Happy February, everyone.

Can you believe how fast time flies? We are 1/12 done with the year 2009.

I've had a pretty low couple of weeks being back here in France. It's been strange readjusting to French life, especially with the absence of  my friends from last semester who headed back to the states for second semester. This weekend was, again, low-key, to say the least. Friday night I ate at Daphne's house with all the other full-year students! From there, we headed to Webb Ellis, the beautiful rugby bar that dearest James discovered last semester, and where we all soon became regulars. It was a "white & bubbles" party at the bar that night -- black lights, so everyone dressed in white, a bubble machine, as well as bottles of bubbly champagne all around. Saturday, I went to the market that takes place around the corner from my apartment as I do every Saturday to buy fresh produce (the apricots & grapefruits are the best), and then spent the afternoon in the library listening to music & reading The Lovely Bones, which I had read eons ago but decided to pick up again. From there, I stopped at a boulangerie to pick up some tasty Haribo goodies (gotta love the French bonbons) to eat later that evening at the movie theater. I went out for crêpes with Miss Emily, another full-year gal, (La Provençale is my favorite dinner crêpe, which includes an egg, fried chèvre cheese, and stewed vegetables...mmm) then headed to the Gaumont movie theater, where there were crowds upon crowds of people. Who knew that's where everyone in this city was on a Saturday night - the movies?! We saw Revolutionary Road, or in French, Les Noces Rebelles. I thought that Kate Winslet & Leonardo DiCaprio did an absolutely extraordinary job. (Elliot later referred to this movie as "Kate & Leo 2.0" hehe) I always love Kate Winslet, and this movie was no disappointment. More than anything, the movie made me a) want to live in the 1950s and b) have a cigarette. I've never seen anyone make smoking look so damn good as Kate & Leo. I called it an early night from there.

I realized late this morning as I was about to go for a long walk that I couldn't find my iPod. Please keep in mind that my iPod has essentially been my best friend since being back in Nantes -- it accompanies me everywhere, and has my music (aka: my LIFE) on it. I cried all afternoon. A lost iPod on top of a lonely & dull couple of weeks is a recipe for disaster. Since everything is closed on Sundays, I was unable to retrace my steps today, but will most certainly do it first thing tomorrow morning. I'll continue to pray to Saint Anthony (they say he's the Saint of lost things, so here's hopin' the man can help a sista out). I know it's only a material possession, but like I said, I go literally everywhere with my darling iPod. Please please pleeeeease let me find it. It would certainly lift my spirits.

Luckily, all my music on my iPod is on my computer as well. Phew! I listened to Madeleine Peyroux for a while this afternoon. Incidentally, my dear dear friend, also named Madeline, introduced me to her. 

She makes me want to drink Scotch neat and smoke a cigarette in a dark jazz bar...

Well c'est tout for now. I'm off to go catch some ZZZs. 

Oh Lordy help me get through this week. Give me strength, patience, motivation & above all, an open heart.

Until next time,

Feel Mighty Fine,

MG

thursday thoughts: missing you

Hey there!

Comin' to ya live from the library in Nantes.

It's been one week since I've written. I suppose there have been plenty of things going on lately. Last weekend, IES (my study abroad program) took a field trip to Mont Saint Michel and Saint Malo. Mont Saint Michel was so beautiful...and has been used since the 7th century. Everyone refers to it as a "rocky tidal island," but the actual abbey itself has monks that live and work there. Famous French writer, Chateaubriand, has his tomb there on a tiny island just off the shore. It was incredibly fascinating! Saint Malo is a little port town on the north coast of Normandy, right on the ocean, full of life. The sun was actually shining, and I had the chance to roam around the beautiful town in awe, tasting regional treats, doing some shopping, relaxing with other study abroad students. All in all, it was a pleasant field trip. Here is Mont Saint Michel:

Sunday after the field trip was a particularly low day. Nantes was hazy, rainy, and grey. Everything in the city is closed on Sundays, even grocery stores, which left me with nothing to do. Not wanting to sit around my host family's apartment, I roamed around Nantes for honestly a couple hours before finding a café that was open where I could read my book, Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, for the second time. I just finished it and loved it even more than the first time.  My favorite citations:

"...sometimes I can hear my bones straining 

under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."

"She was funny and full of life. She liked to run around her empty house without any clothes on, even once she was too old for that. Nothing embarrassed her. I admired that so much, because everything embarrassed me, and that hurt me. She loved to jump on her bed. She jumped on her bed for so many years that one afternoon, while I watched her jump, the seams burst. Feathers filled the small room. Our laughter kept the feathers in the air. I thought about birds. Could they fly if there wasn't someone, somewhere, laughing?"

Don't you just adore that? It makes me smile every time. I loved that book -- really gave me some perspective, kind of made me think of how much life I have left to live, and how I have so many beautiful, inspiring people in my life to remind me of how grateful I should be on a daily basis.

The rest of this week has consisted of trying to pick classes for the semester. I attend classes at the Université de Nantes, and if I don't like them, I choose not to take them. So far, I'm 3 for 3 for disliking the classes I've gone to. Fantastic. I think I'm going to end up taking two literature classes at the university, one focusing on Marcel Proust's Du côté de chez Swann, the other studying Marguerite Duras' Un barrage contre le pacifique. In addition, an art history class caught my interest as well, one that focuses on 19th, 20th, and 21st century photography! I am also taking a phonetics class, which will most definitely help in my pronunciation of words. No other classes really fascinated me, but since there is a minimum of 15 credits, I'm forced to take another class. Ideally, a drawing class would have been great! Unfortunately, those are only worth 2 credits. Thus, I'm going to be taking the second section of a translation class I took last semester as a "filler" class, if you will. It'll be easy, so that's relieving. On top of all this, I teach English two times a week to two different groups of lil kids, work here in the IES library 7 hours a week (minimum wage, baby!), and occasionally babysit for a family when the parents want a date night! All in all, I am a workin' woman, trying to save up for spring break. (Rome...here I come!) Besides the whole class schedule and working shtuff, I've been laying low, feeling very very very fatigued & lethargic. 

Enough about me. I've been missing my friends & family so much since returning to Nantes. Winter break was like a tease -- I saw them shortly, but then head to jump across the Atlantic Ocean all over again. Luckily, we have all been keeping in great touch, thanks to Facebook and Skype. My heart hurts from being so far away from everyone: my family (especially my little Godson and nephew, Bennett!), my Loyola friends, my high school friends, the friends I made while abroad last semester...I miss everything about every single one of them.

You are all perpetually in my thoughts & bring me such joy, whether or not I've said it before.

I miss you more & more every day :

& many many many many many others.

You are constantly inspiring me!

I'm off to class. There's a strike today in Nantes sooo we'll see if public transportation is working or if I even have class. Who knows, some of the professors are on strike. Oh, France.

Until next time,

Feel Ridiculously Fine,

MG